During the time of year when “New Year, New Me” bullshit is plastered all over social media news feeds and the whole world is shouting at us all of the ways we need to change I have a radical declaration to make… “New Year, Same Me.”
Why this declaration you may ask? Because I am enough.
Humans have an obsession at this time of year with how we need to change. As a person who has spent most of the last year and a half learning to love myself for who I am (no small feat after a lifetime of self-doubt and self-hate) this kind of environment used to set me up for a spiral. I would spend the last week or two of December thinking of all of the ways I was not enough and nit-picking the things I needed to change to be “better”. To fit in. To be more liked and accepted. To make sure nobody knew how broken and hurt I was deep down inside.
But no more. I have decided to love the person that I am, no matter the cracks and broken pieces. Rough edges and all. All of the therapy and self discovery
I have done has led me to see that the things that I thought had broken me have actually made me into the person that I am. I have learned that all of the things I used to look at as liabilities can actually be considered strengths in the right circumstances with the proper amount of work and love. That I am strong and amazing and have so much to offer. That I am a fierce fucking warrior. And that anyone who doesn’t like me for me is not my kind of people and that I need not waste my time or energy on them. Life is too fucking exhausting already without chasing other people’s approval.
I do not need to change who I am. Not for anyone.
Lest you think I have some false sense of self-perfection let me say something else. I am a work in progress. Though I do not want to change who I am at my core I do want to keep working on being the best and healthiest me I can be. While my experiences and my life have shaped who I am I can still work on healthier reactions to situations and better coping mechanisms for the tough times. I can still decide who I do or do not want in my life. I can choose to surround myself with people that enrich my life instead of make it more painful and difficult. I can choose to nourish my body in a healthy way and I can choose to stay healthy both physically and emotionally. Changing habits is not changing who I am.
So as is often the case it is a matter of balance. I will continue to work to find that balance to make the tweaks to be the healthiest me without compromising and changing who I am. It is difficult sometimes but it is absolutely worth it.
I found this quote today:
“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving” Kim McMillen
So my advice to you and myself this year is don’t make any resolutions to change. Make a resolution to love yourself for who you are. If you do that then all the good stuff will follow. You don’t need to change a damn thing because you are pretty fucking great just the way you are. You just don’t realize it.
You are enough. You are so fucking enough.
And don’t you forget it.
Love to you all. The unconditional kind.